To the Mom Who Always Misses Church

Hey there! thanks for dropping by today. I so appreciate each of you who take the time to click over and check out my blog.

Today’s post is one that I’ve been mulling over in my head for awhile. One of my goals with this blog is to put forward a positive look at motherhood – to celebrate the amazing gift that it is to be a mom. In light of that I really shy away from anything that sounds like I’m complaining, aside from light-hearted memes and such. Being a mom is a privilege and an honor and I want to always remind myself and my readers of that fact.

However, I also never want to give the impression that motherhood is an absolute breeze or that I have it all together because that’s definitely not true. This post is about a part of motherhood that can be hard: missing church. I’m writing this to myself and to any other mom who finds herself feeling discouraged about missing church services often.

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Maybe it’s because your kids are sick – one after the other – making you miss church for weeks on end. Maybe it’s because you show up to church but your baby is fussy and ends up wanting to nurse the whole service. Maybe your church is too small to have a nursery, or maybe you’re one of the few who can work it week after week. Maybe you start out in the service but your three year old  is being, well, a three year old and you end up missing most of the service. Hey, maybe you’ve not even had a baby yet but you’re stuck at home because you’re pregnant and can’t stop throwing up!

Whatever the reason, moms can end up missing church services a lot, and it can be discouraging. I know.

There have been Sundays where I ask myself “what’s the point?” as I drive home after spending yet another morning in the nursery. Oh, and just today I had to come home from church right after it started because my son threw-up. Poor kid! He hadn’t acted sick at all until we got to church. 🙁

Anyway, I don’t have any brilliant answers or extremely insightful counsel, but here are some thoughts I’ve had about this on my drive home from the nursery church every Sunday.

Remember this: when you miss church because you’re home with sick kids, you are showing love to your brothers and sisters in Christ by not exposing them to whatever it is that your kids have. You’re doing the right thing, even though it’s hard. After all, nothing is more discouraging for a mom than bringing her kids to church only to take them home at the end of the time all infected with whatever the sick kid had. So don’t do it. Johnnie may feel better today, but if he was throwing up yesterday you’d better plan to stay home. (And if your kid surprises you by getting sick AT church like mine did today, well, then go home right away and just hope you didn’t spread the love!)

When you do make it to church but are “stuck” in the nursery, view it as a ministry, whether it’s just your kids or other kids too. Remember how important children were to Jesus in the Bible. He certainly didn’t view them as just little distractions to be managed. I love this quote from C.S. Lewis:

Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.

A couple Sundays ago I was in the nursery because my two-year-old was acting up and I didn’t want the ladies in there to have to deal with him as well as my active crawler. I found myself getting frustrated with him and embarrassed that he wasn’t behaving like I wanted.

But, when I remembered later how Jesus views children – how important they are to Him – my whole perspective changed. What I’m doing, taking care of and training my kids – it’s important! It’s not a waste of time, even when I’m always missing out on church.

I have also found that some of the times when I’m “stuck” in the nursery have turned into the most encouraging times as I’m able to talk to and learn from other moms who are in there with me. So take advantage of those times! Learn from and encourage each other! After all, it’s the only time we moms are sitting still at church haha.

But, even when we manage to keep the right perspective, let’s face it, it’s still hard to miss sermons week after week. This article from Desiring God puts it well when it reminds us that “moms need theology too.”

So what can we do? Here are a few suggestions that I am working to implement consistently myself:

• Listen to Christian music at home

Listening to music about the Lord helps to get my thoughts in the right place and is so uplifting and encouraging. Even if I am able to make it to church I find it helpful to listen to Christian music on the way so that I’m in a more worshipful mood. (Because I usually am not after rushing around trying to get out the door!)

• Listen to your church’s sermon online if possible

I know a lot of churches are now offering their sermons in a live-stream online in case you are stuck at home. This is such a great help. Of course, depending how many kids you have at home with you it may or may not be possible to tune in right on time and listen to the whole thing.

• Listen to podcasts/sermons during the week

This is something that I’ve really been working on. Back before I had kids I used to listen to sermons in my ear buds while I cleaned houses. It was a great habit for awhile although I kind of got out of it once I stopped my job. Lately I’ve been listening to the Revive Our Hearts podcast by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. I’ve been getting in at least a few episodes a week, usually while I clean up after the kids are in bed. It’s about 25 minutes so it’s a doable length and it’s so good for me to get Biblical teaching that way since I do end up missing church so much.

• Practice “church behavior” at home with your kids

If you’re always missing the service because your kids can’t sit still, make it a habit of practicing at home. I’m not talking about forty-five minutes at time; start with a quiet activity for two minutes and work up. This article has some good advice.

• Have an “others focus” when you are in the nursery
  

Instead of moaning inside about how you’re always in the nursery, remember that you are being a blessing to others (your husband, other moms) by allowing them to be in the service. Love on your kids and any others you may be watching. Make it your goal to encourage other moms if they’re in there with you.

And by the way, I’m preaching at myself here. These suggestions are things I need to work on, not things I’m excelling at, in case you’re wondering!

Finally, remember: God understands. He will give you (and me!) grace for this time which is oh-so-short in the big scheme of things. So take heart my friend.

Isaiah 40:11 – He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.

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