Have you ever had God show you a little more of yourself than you wanted to see? Or maybe a lot more?
Today’s post is a real heart-to-heart you guys. I’m imagining another mom sitting across the table from me – ideally at a coffee shop but more realistically at my house while my kids are napping haha. We’re sharing some of our struggles with each other, and right now it’s my turn.
So, lately, my kids have really been bringing out my bad side. And honestly, it’s come as a bit of a shock.
After my first was born, I was in motherhood bliss. I couldn’t imagine ever being upset at this sweet little person, this tiny part of me who held such a huge piece of my heart.
I felt similarly when my second was born. Life was crazier for sure – Caleb my first was now two years old – but still, I felt pretty good about my mom-ing for the most part. I thought, somewhat smugly I’m afraid, that I was not one of those moms who get mad at their kids. I spoke quietly and calmly when Caleb acted up. I never raised my voice.
Well . . . then my two year old turned three.
I started noticing a change in myself – impatience, frustration, and dare I say it, anger, started creeping in. Instead of the calm and cool mom of before, there have now been many times where I’ve found myself feeling angry at this little person who I love so intensely. It seems that parenting really has a way of bringing out my bad side!
How is it that I could always keep my cool with the multiple children I nannied back in the day, but now my own children are sometimes hearing harsh, impatient words come out of my mouth? Ugh, I hate even writing that you guys, but it’s such a struggle some days!
What is this?! Who am I??
Don’t you hate it when you learn more about yourself and don’t like what you see?
I’m sure we’ve all heard the analogy of the teacup. When you bump a full teacup, something is going to spill out. My children haven’t suddenly turned me into a worse person. All of that was already inside of me; it’s just that now my “teacup” is getting bumped and spilled a whole lot more.
What spills out shows what’s really inside of me – and I’m not so sure I like it.
I would feel a whole lot better about myself if my kids would just behave and stop upsetting my “teacup”. Ha! But you know what? That’s really the goodness of God. God is good to introduce me to new circumstances that reveal things to me about myself that I really didn’t want to know.
Let’s be honest, it stinks to find out how much we need help, doesn’t it? It’s humbling, that’s for sure. But that’s a good thing because God never intended for us to do the job of parenting by ourselves. (Good thing too because we’d fail for sure!) He intends for us to rely on Him for every step, admitting our failures and our need for Him all along the way.
Parenting is hard, not because of my children, but because of me. But thank God for allowing this process of parenting to “bring out my bad side” so that He can work on me and grow me as I confess my failings.
I have a lot more thoughts on this topic but I’m going to leave them for another blog post so I can get this one finished up and posted. In the mean time, go listen to this podcast episode from Risen Motherhood. It’s on this same topic and it’s both convicting and encouraging – so basically it’s super good and you need to check it out! 😉
I’d also love to hear from you! What has God been showing you about yourself lately? Let’s chat in the comments!
Oh man, nothing brings out your flesh like parenting! There’s always a new opportunity to trust God!
I agree!!
I loved this. Thank you for sharing your heart. I think we have all been there (are there) and it’s nice to be find other moms to relate to and connect with.
I agree Danielle! Thanks for commenting ❤️
I agree so much! My worst side always comes out- parenthood is refining me
Yes I like the way you put it – it’s definitely refining!
I’m going through the same thing right now. I had my third 6 months ago and we’re still adjusting. I’ve realized that I need to make improvements in our day to day to help with the issues we’ve been having. So nice to know I’m not alone.
You’re definitely not alone!! And I’m having my third this summer… we’ll see how that goes!
Thanksso much for the post.Really thank you! Keep writing.
Being human we can only handle so much. I wouldn’t beat yourself up. Just take 5 deep breaths when feeling like “monster mom” and you’ll feel a bit refreshed to tackle the situation less angry. Also though make sure when you can get someone else to handle the kiddies for a few hours a week to get you time. Life is all about balance.
Yes, a few kid-free hours can definitely be super refreshing! Thanks for commenting 🙂
I can relate to so many of these feelings and experiences! Motherhood became much more difficult after my 3rd child was born. More little people who require constant care! My kids are now 4, 3, and 1, and I rely on God’s grace more than ever. My personal experience is that parenting gets harder as the kids get older and show more emotions like anger, whining, etc. I am learning to rely on God’s grace more than ever. I appreciated your post- it’s daunting to share something so personal, but you are not alone. I am encouraged to know that other moms experience the same struggles I do, and am thankful to hear of others who are fighting those battles against the flesh instead of just settling for a “well, that’s how it’s going to be” attitude.
This is great! Thanks for this helpful content 🙂
Thanks for being real, Rebekah! Parenting is hard and patience does not come naturally to any of us, some of us just get more practice. 🙂 Keeping it real with other moms is where the connection is made. Just knowing that you struggle helps others to be encouraged that they are not alone. ♥️
Thanks Aunt Melanie ❤️
I totally needed this today! I think my teacup has a fire hose to it these days. I’m raising 6 little kids while my husband is in practicum plus working full time, and life is hard! I never knew that I would/could feel so overwhelmed by the smallest things! Thank you for being open and real. It’s nice to know we’re not alone in this momming business!
Wow, sounds like you really have a lot on your plate!! I can’t imagine have 6 littles … I feel nervous about having three soon! I’m sure you are a great mama. <3